OMmygod

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I’ve been reading a lot of books on how to practice yoga in your day-to-day life. Stephen Cope’s The Wisdom of Yoga taught me a lot about meditation. Donna Farhi’s Bringing Yoga to Life explored how to apply the Yoga Sutras to daily living.

On most days, I’ve been able to keep these lessons at the forefront of my mind. Empathy. Calm. Ease. Santosha. Ahimsa.

This past week was tougher, and not for any particular reason. I just didn’t feel close to my practice. I struggled to sustain the feelings I’d had in my last flow. I felt very un-zen again.

Then there were the things that popped up during the week… things I had trouble processing through that yogic lens. A rejection letter from a literary agent. My cat’s health issues. A disappointing visit to the urologist with my husband. 100 comments (and climbing) on a tongue-in-cheek essay I wrote, all basically calling me a whore.

I’m searching for detachment. Observation. Acknowledgment. And a letting go. But I’m struggling this week.

Thursday was my once-a-month triple-header. I went to lunchtime yoga, and each pose felt beyond my grasp. I wondered if I should skip my more hardcore evening class, and the yoga nidra class that followed.

Instead, I got a shit-ton of work done and then forced myself to go, even though I felt overtired and burnt out.

In my evening class, I felt remarkably strong. I was surprised. And yoga nidra made me want to curl up and sleep on the studio floor overnight. Such bliss.

But I’m still having trouble holding on to that.

What do you do when you feel less than zen?